I know it's been a while since I posted anything, but as we all know, life gets busy. And even as I type this, there is a pile of laundry screaming at me to be folded and I'm having to ignore it long enough to get this online so my dad will stop hounding me. :)

Here is a picture from our recent trip to Disney World. We had an absolute blast!! All of us are anxiously awaiting the time when we can go back for what will be our family's third trip. I would go at least once a year if finances would allow. If I had all the money in the world to go anywhere in the world, I think I'd still pick Disney. No matter how old you are, the magic is still there. This is one of my favorite pictures of Rachel as she was on the carousel. As you can tell, she was having fun.



Some more exciting news from our casa is that we're expecting again in October. I'm in the deep throws of the "morning-noon-and-night" sickness, but am not complaining. Because I know, as my husband would say, the baby is still percolating. We're hoping for a boy, but if it's a girl, I'll get to use all Rachel's stuff again, which will be nice. If it's a boy - well....... it'll be either time to shop or time for showers.

I'm feeling the need to purge my house as well. I need to get rid of all the unnecessary stuff. We are already planning for a garage sale in the next few weeks and hopefully will be able to get rid of a lot of our junk and I'm sure someone else may think it's treasure.

Having said that, as I have today off, I'm going to first fold all my laundry and then continue (or actually really begin) the purge process..... starting with my closet.

I'm updating my blog with some pictures since my dad reminded me that it's been quite a long time since my last post. :)


I can't remember what was wrong with Rachel this day, but I couldn't resist taking this picture.


Here's a picture of our ever growing puppy, Kramer, and his soon-to-be girlfriend, Copper. This was taken on November 26th with Kramer being just 3 1/2 months old..... yeah, that's right. He's going to outgrow Copper in no time.


This is Rachel on December 2nd playing with Cuddles. Rachel gets excited when we go to see Cuddles. Nevermind Grandma and Grandpa - it's all about Cuddles! ha.


Katie came running to me while I was putting up laundry last week and said, "Rachel has lotion all over her." I thought, surely not. Then I saw this....... and again couldn't resist taking the picture. Notice the lovely sticker on her nose. Yeah, not sure what that's all about, but oh well.


We're looking forward to Christmas at our house and then our Disney trip a few days later. Rachel is very excited about Santa and keeps saying she wants him to bring her a pencil. That's what Santa gave her at "Breakfast with Santa" that we went to on our most recent trip to Kansas. Let's just say that my child could have been the poster child for the "I Hate Santa" campaign! She HATED Santa that day!!! Screamed her head off when we got near him, tried to figure out everything she could say to get out of the line to see him - including "I need to go poop!!" - and clinged to me with every ounce of strength she could muster. Maybe next year, Santa will be a little cooler.

Holiday Get To Know Me

I got this email today and thought it would be a good little blog post. Since I don't have much else to talk about at the moment, here you go. OH! We got our new recliner yesterday and a new couch is on the way. I'll post pictures soon...

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Both. Love the egg nog! But I also love hot chocolate when it’s cold outside.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Oh, just sits under the tree. It could get a little confusing if Santa used the same paper that Mommy and Daddy have….. hmmmmm…..

4. (I don’t know where #4 went…)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
White – God help you if Kristi finds out you have….GASP….. "tacky" colored lights!!!

5. When do you put your decorations up?
Usually the weekend after Thanksgiving.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Granny’s dressing or anything with sweet potatoes

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child:
I guess it was getting my Barbie Dream House

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
Too early. I wish I’d kept the magic a little longer. Although I was doubting when I got that dream house, but getting it helped me believe for at least that Christmas!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
We usually have several Christmas get-togethers and most of the time we’re at my dad’s on Christmas Eve, so yes. And as of the last few years, I’ve wanted to wait and open our gifts at home all on Christmas morning. I love the anticipation.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
I like a classy looking tree, but I also love the homemade ornaments and ornaments that have special meaning. So, I have a mix of both.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Depends on if I have to go anywhere. I hate it if we’re traveling, but love it if we can stay home.

12. Can you ice skate?
Not well. I like to try, though.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
I love just getting gifts, no matter what they are, but I have to say that my husband getting my diamond ring definitely made me cry – as did the purse that Michelle got me with the picture of my girls.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Spending time with family and friends.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
EVERYTHING!!!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Since we have kids, it’s Santa coming. I love the magic and wonder of the little ones anticipating what Santa will bring to them. Also, I love the family get-togethers. It’s got a little more of the “something special” during this time of year.

17. What tops your tree?
I can’t remember! Isn’t that bad! I think it’s sparkly twisty twigs or something.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving?
Giving!!!!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?
“The Christmas Song”…(Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…) sung by Nat King Cole, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” sung by Judy Garland, and White Christmas” sung by Bing Crosby. They are all my favorites and really make it feel like it’s Christmas.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
Who doesn’t love a good candy cane? YUM! Oh and I like those ones that aren’t super hard… that kinda melt as you eat them. They’re kinda like those shower mints. Mmmmm!!!

New Pictures

I know it's been so long since I posted, so I figured I better take a few minutes and update this stinkin' thing so my dad will quit hounding me. :) Hi Dad!

First of all, here's a little picture of my babies...

This one is from the first weekend we had Kramer....

And this one is from a few days ago...

They are such good buddies now! Kramer is getting bigger by the day!

We still have Zoe, but we're currently looking for a new home for her. If anyone is interested in a loving pet who is a great guard dog, let me know. She is about 7 or 8 years old and isn't too keen on our newest addition (Kramer) plus she's been getting a wee bit snippy with the kids lately. I think it's because she's out of sorts with Kramer being here, but still. We just need to find her a home where she's either the only dog or at a home where there aren't any puppies or children. If you or anyone you know would enjoy such an animal, let me know.

I don't think I've posted any pics from our recent trip to Kansas City. So here are a few for your enjoyment:

Rachel and I went with Grandpa to Deanna Rose. It's a sort of petting zoo that's designed to be like an old farmstead. They have lots of animals that you can feed and pet. Rachel loves that place! Here she and Grandpa were feeding the fish, some of Grandpa's most favorite creatures. Rachel is wearing Grandpa's fishing hat. Appropriate, don't you agree?



Grandpa has several games on his computer and he has a screen saver with fish - go figure. Any time Grandpa was at the computer, Rachel would go in and ask to see the fish.


This was one of the sweetest stories and it made me cry - at Deanna Rose, they have horse rides for kids 3 and over. Rachel blew a gasket last time we were there back in the spring and she couldn't ride because she wasn't old enough. This time was no different. Rachel loves all kinds of animals and thinks horses are especially cool. We thought we'd ask the attendant if she could ride since there was a little girl who was much smaller than Rachel that got off the horse while we were watching. The attendant asked how old Rachel was. Grandpa said, cleverly I must say, "How old does she need to be?" The attendant said she needed to be 3. Grandpa said she's almost three, could she make an exception. The lady asked when her birthday was and I told her it's not until February. All the while Rachel is looking at her with this pleading look. So, the attendant ponders for a few seconds, Grandpa nearly gives up and says oh, it's ok, but then wait - the attendant said, "I have something here I think will work. (pulling out a ticket, which was $3 by the way) There was a family here yesterday who's daughter wouldn't ride. They'd already paid for the ticket and said we should just give it to a special child." She handed the ticket to me and said for us to have fun. I can tell you, I teared up right there and could barely tell the lady thank you. Obviously, she enjoyed her ride!

As for the recent post about us maybe moving to KC, that isn't going to happen right now. Circumstances have changed and we will be staying here. Believe me, though, that is a HUGE answer to prayer for me! I will post on this in the future and share a bit more in detail about just how good our God is and how much of a sense of humor he can have with us. It's really awesome sometimes to just see how he's so invested in the details of our lives. I love it!

It's Baaaaack!

Last night was the premier episode for this season's Bachelor..... in Rome! I had my paper in hand last night to take notes on the girls and see which I thought he would keep and which he would boot right back to the good ol' US of A. My favorite so far is Sadie. That's all I have to say about that.
I WILL be reading this blog by Lincee from Texas. I've been getting emails from her and reading her blog on the show for several seasons and I look forward to her hilarity more than I do the actual show. You should tune in with me to http://thebachelorrecaps.blogspot.com/. I promise, it will make you laugh out loud!!

On another note, we got a new addition to our family this past weekend. A new boxer puppy. His name is Kramer and he's ADORABLE!! I'll post pictures soon.

100th Post and News To Report

This is my 100th post. Hmm.

First things first - I have to confess something I did today. I was a horrible mother. Actually, I thought I was doing a great thing and being a good mom until the incident....

I took my girls out to the park for a picnic at the park and feeding the ducks. It was a gorgeous day to be outside. We were having a super time and had a lot of fun with the ducks. We went back to the vehicle to head home for nap time. Long story short, I ended up locking Rachel in the van. I buckled Rachel in her car seat and went around to put Katie in and then realized that all the doors were locked!! I don't even remember hitting the lock button and can't for the life of me figure out why I would have done that. There was an elderly couple that was parked next to us about to enjoy a KFC picnic and they generously let me use their phone to call 911. It took about 15 minutes for someone to get there, during which time Rachel was being her independent, defiant self and decided not to answer my plea of pulling up on the button to unlock the door. A few minutes before the first cop showed up, Rachel started sweating and saying she wanted her drink. Can I just tell you that I felt like absolute slime right then! What is worse than your child asking you for something they NEED and you are helpless to do anything about it?! NOTHING! Nothing, I tell you. I was seconds away from finding a rock or something to bust out my window and get in there myself, and then one of the nicest cops ever showed up to help. Minutes later, my neighbor cop that trained my dog pulled up. That was a huge relief to see someone I knew and his reassurance was great - "We'll have Rachel out of there in just a second. Don't worry, Jill." Just the fact that he knew me and knew my daughter made me know he was going to try harder than the average stranger cop to free my kid from the clutches of heat stroke. Well, that's a little dramatic I guess, but still. After trying just about everything to get my apparent impossible lock open, they were able to figure a maneuver that worked and the doors were unlocked. At the point they finally unlocked the door, I had been staring at the pistol in my neighbor cop's holster and was toying with the thought, "I wonder what would happen if I ripped that thing from the holster and just shot my driver's side door open so I can get my kid out of there since you guys can't get my lock undone?! I won the award at camp for being the best BB Gun shooter of the whole camp. I can shoot a gun!" Then I heard the click of the door unlocking. Relief washed over me and I have never unbuckled my child faster in her life than I did today. I snatched her out of the car and of course cried the cry of complete relief. Nicest Cop Ever stayed for a second to make sure Rachel was ok and talked to her for a few minutes and then said, "I know" and walked to his car and came back with a stuffed Tigger and Eeyore for Rachel and Katie. How sweet was that? So, lesson learned today was I will figure out a way to have a spare key on the outside of my car lest this happen again. Second, there really are nice people in the world - 3 of which were ladies that came over while I was waiting on the cops with an outstretched hand holding a cell phone... again I say into cyberspace to those people THANK YOU!! And the cop going above and beyond with those stuffed animals.... that was really nice.

Some news I have is that of possible change. I haven't posted this in detail yet, but my husband is interviewing for a job in Kansas City. There is so much going on around this that it would take pages of posting to explain everything. Anyway, he's been looking for other employment opportunities inside and outside of his current company for quite a while now (months and months) and due to the fact that all his family is in KC and my step-daughter's mom's family is all there and they are thinking of moving back sometime soon, Mike thought it would be an option for us to look there as well. We've always talked about maybe moving there one of these days, but this sort of came up and one of those days became maybe sooner rather than later and I'm freaking out a little. He has had 2 phone interviews and is going up next week for a face to face interview. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it yet. I don't have a peace about this deal yet. We're praying for God to open doors or close doors according to what we should to. I'm being very specific in a dollar figure for his salary and feel like that will be a tangible way we can know if this is God's will for us. I've got to be open to the possibility, though, even though it's a nauseating idea to think about leaving the home we have here, leaving our church family, and leaving our best friends. I was actually reading in Paula Dean's magazine today about change and she put it well, so I will leave you now with this:

Sometimes changes in life can be scary, but fall is a great example of how change can be beautiful and life enhancing. If life seems tough and uncertain, take comfort in the changing leaves that tell us, it's just a season of life, just a passing phase.

PBS?

I walked into my house tonight after being gone for a little over and hour and PBS is on my TV. What in the world?! It's Monday night and if I'm not mistaken, New Orleans is playing football on TV. Am I correct? And yet my husband, the football FREAK is watching PBS?! Or wait.......is it really my husband or has his mind been taken over by nerdy aliens?

More to write about, but not tonight. My body hurts and my eyes are heavy. My alarm went off at 4:35am to remind me that, in fact, I'm still fat and my ultra skinny, toned, disgustingly fab bodied friend would be waiting on me at the class from h-e-double hocky sticks and I must be there to suffer for 55 agonizing minutes or she'd think I'm still a lazy turd. And I just gotta say that whoever invented squats and lunges should be shot!!! Oh and whoever figured out that there are such things as tricep dips and the "hover" - I have no love whatsoever for those evil, EVIL idiots!!!

Change

The thought of doing something new and different is often exciting to me. However, when the new and different thing requires me to leave people behind, then it's not so exciting. I always hesitate to leave that which is comfortable for that which could be uncomfortable.

I often jump to the conclusion before I find out how to get there.... or if the path is really leading me that way. I try so hard not to read the last page of the book because I do enjoy the thrill of the journey, but sometimes I just can't help myself. Life is that way for me, too, sometimes.

My stomach is in knots today. I keep having to remind myself over and over that God tells us in his word to be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, we are to let our requests be known to God. Then the peace that passes every understanding will be ours. I'm praying for that peace today. I need His peace today. I need to know what God is saying to me today.

Granny

My Gran has been here since Saturday for a visit with us. I just took her back home today. We had a good visit and I enjoyed my time with her. I heard the same stories several times, but still, it was nice. Rachel is right now sitting beside me asking, "Where's Granny?" Rachel loved having her here.



We did an extreme room makeover for Tanner this weekend. It is pretty dramatic what we did. I'll post pictures soon.

I got up this morning and went back to Body Pump. I hurt my back sometime in July and was out for a couple weeks then. I then used the excuse of going to Seminar in Dallas and missing that week of working out. Then last Monday, I was dressed and ready to walk out the door when I went to kiss my husband goodbye and he was burning up with fever. So, as I nursed him for a few minutes, I missed my leaving time and if you're not at the class on time, you might as well forget it. So, I didn't go then. On Wednesday of last week, I was going to go, had my alarm set and everything.... and slept right through the stupid alarm. I was ticked when I woke up at 5:23 and then class starts at 5:30am. CRAP! Friday, the power went out at the gym and they didn't have class. I didn't go, but still. I wouldn't have been able to work out then anyway. But this morning, by golly, I had my not-so-happy tail out of bed and on the road at 5am and was there in plenty of time to get all my goodies set out for the upcoming hour of hell. I told my girlfriend that I work out with not to ever let me miss that long of a period of time again before working out or I'll kill her first and then myself! I seriously felt like I wanted to vomit as I walked out of the gym. I know that I'll feel better for having done it, but right now, I just really want to go lay down in my bed and sleep. There is too much to be done today for me to do that, though.

Today is the first day of school for many kids, my stepdaughter included. That's all she could talk about all weekend..... I think she was a bit excited! :) I hope she has a great day.

Our boxer, Copper, is in heat.

She is modeling this lovely diaper/panty thing I had to buy her so that she wouldn't "drip" in the house. Try telling a 10 year old girl who has yet to ask any birds and bees question about how a dog gets pregnant. Yeah, not fun. I tried telling her that dogs can only get pregnant about 2 times a year and this is one of them. It's called being "in heat". But she wouldn't have babies this time because no boy dogs would visit her now. Tanner went shopping with her mom that afternoon after this conversation and told her mom that "Copper could get pregnant if she's out in the sun and gets too hot or something"..... aaahhhh..... the innocence of childhood!!

And I just have to show off this most precious picture. There's nothing like the sight your baby sleeping soundly on Daddy's chest... and Daddy also sawing a few logs himself....


This looks too comfy. I think I'll go take a nap myself now....

Seminar Report

I got back from my Mary Kay seminar a couple weeks ago and had an absolute BLAST! As I knew I would. I really enjoy learning things that I can actually put into practice when I get home. I love hearing things and thinking, "What a GREAT idea!!"

This is me and my wonderful director, Norenda, in the Cadiallac dining hall. Because we are a Cadiallac unit, we get special dining priviledges. One of which is our own DJ and dancing at lunch! That was TOO much fun!!!!!



It was also fun to get dressed up! As shown here with my friend Stephanie at our Mardi Gras awards night. We had a blast that night as well and were so proud of Norenda for doing so great this past year and getting all kinds of recognition!



Then, there was the big awards night and time for me to really pull out the stops on getting all dressed up! I LOVED my dress for that night and had a ball getting ready! It is so fun for this stay at home mom to feel like a princess every now and again....... especially now when I'm sitting here in my shorts and t-shirt and my hair in a pony tail. :)


It was a fabulous time and I'm already anxious for next year........ but next year, I'll be ON STAGE waving to all my adoring fans like Miss America!!!!

Zonked

After being away at Seminar and getting nearly no sleep since Saturday, I'm feeling a bit worn out. My sweet little baby girl has decided that since she didn't want to take a nap during her regular nap time today, she would just sack out in the chair. When she first climbed up there and started to watch Aladdin for about the 50th time this week, she said, "Mommy, I'm tired." She wasn't joking.......

Bye Bye Jack

My little buddy Jack that I've been babysitting since he was a month old had his last day with me as his babysitter. He just left a few minutes ago and it's hard to imagine my house without him. He's been around most all of Rachel's life and she asks about him a lot. Every time we pass the room where he naps, she says, "Is Jack asleep?" even if it's on a weekend day or some other time than nap time. She'll definitely miss her friend.

A lot has changed over the past couple of years.....


This little guy has been such a blessing. Mike and I were friends with his parents during the last few months of his mom, Mindy's, pregnancy with him. Mindy and I decided that I would keep Jack after she went back to work from maternity leave. I hung out with her on a Thursday night and called to leave a message Friday night and she didn't return my call. I thought that strange because she was usually very good about calling me back. I found out Saturday morning that she'd gone into labor Friday and during her labor had an amniotic fluid embolism and passed away before they could take Jack via c-section. She was one of those kinds of people that EVERYONE loved. She was the sweetest soul on earth. It was my privilege to have been friends with her. And an even bigger privilege to care for the child she never got a chance to meet. That has always been in the back of my mind where Jack has been concerned. I know that if something like that happened to me, I would want only the best caretaker for my child. I've tried to be that for Jack.

And now that he's headed to preschool next week, I can just pray that the ladies that care for him there will love him. I have no doubt they will. I'm sure we'll still see him since they live in the same town, but as we all know, it won't be the same. It's sad for me to think of not getting sweet hugs and kisses from him and hearing him FINALLY start to say things we can understand. I know ultimately this will be a good thing for him, but for today, I'm sad that my little guy has gone. And sad all over again about losing my friend.

Seminar

On Sunday, I will be leaving for Dallas to attend our Mary Kay Seminar. This is a big year end celebration and training time for us in MK. Last year was my first year to attend and from the time I got there, even checking into the hotel, my mouth gaped open in amazement at how organized everything was and the attention to detail that had been taken. It was incredible!!

This was a picture taken at one of the awards nights we have. Here, I am with my director, Norenda, and my friend and sister consultant, April. I HATE my hair in pictures when it was that short. I'll never do that again. :)

This was the dessert we had at the first awards night. Oh my - YUM! I swear I think it was the best piece of chocolate cake I've ever had.

Seminar begins on Sunday with everyone arriving and getting settled and then culminates on Wednesday with a wonderful final boost. The whole experience is like church camp in a way. You're so excited to go and so excited while you're there and the last day is always emotional because you just don't want to leave, but you're armed and ready to hit the world running when you get home. I'm excited to see what this year brings. I'm working right now on building my business even more and am really looking forward to the upcoming year.

My whole life, mediocre has been an ok thing. Coming from where I grew up, you never would have expected many people to go on to anything remotely successful in life. I graduated with 19 people. Not a lot of opportunity for many things. Just doing what you need to get by was acceptable. I have now come to a place in my life where that just isn't ok anymore. Yeah, I don't always try as hard as I know I can, but the difference now is that I recognize that and it's not acceptable. I want to be better. I want to do more. And then some.

Uneasy

I'm having one of those days where everything in my life just seems to be a little bit off. As I have shared before, I hate it when things aren't just happy with everyone and all of my relationships aren't just great. Today, that is just the case. I feel like I'm at odds with my spouse, my family, my friends. I guess that pretty well includes everyone. It's one of those days where I just think it would be so much easier to not be in this world anymore. It would be so much easier to just be with Jesus. I wouldn't have to worry about Him getting angry with me or being frustrated with me, or hating me.

I just read on something today that greatly convicted me. Unsolicited advice is criticism. Even if you're trying to be helpful, if the other person hasn't asked, you're not sending a message of helpfulness, but of criticism. God help me. And to those of you that I've sent the message of criticism lately, I beg your forgiveness.

Maybe I'm just dealing with hormones today. Still, it's like nothing is right with the world today. It's a day where I want to hide under my rock.

Great Idea!

My dear, sweet, "innocent" daughter has got the potty thing down when it comes to going pee-pee. Number 2, on the other hand, has not happened quite as nicely as I would have hoped. She has YET to poop in the potty other than on those rare occasions before we officially began the potty training. Now, she just goes into this still stance and craps her pants and then comes to tell me she's done so. She knows this is bad. She gets a swat on her booty every time she does it. That however is not helping AT ALL. So today, after she yet again made a big mess in her "drawers", we had a little conversation in the bathroom. It went something like this:

"You do not poop in your panties! You poop in the potty!!" said Mommy.

sniff, sniff, blow out snot from the nose - said Rachel.

"Should you poop in your panties, Rachel?"

she shakes her head no.

"Should you poop in the potty?"

again, she shakes her head no.

"No, Rachel, you SHOULD poop in the potty. Pooping in your panties is YUCKY and Mommy doesn't like to clean up that gross mess. I'll tell you what, if you poop in your panties, you will get a spanking every time. But, if you poop in the potty, Mommy will give you some chocolate."

**Rachel opens her eyes as wide as she can and puts both her hands over her open mouth and squeals and then says, index finger pointed in the air, "Great idea, Mommy!!" and then grins super big.

I reiterated the point telling her the consequences for going poop in her panties and then said again that if she poops in the potty she'll get chocolate - half thinking the first reaction was a fluke and that she really didn't get it. I was wrong.

Again, she opens her eyes and mouth widely, places both hands over her mouth and then says again, with a bit more passion this time, "Great idea!!" and then gives me a huge hug.

Why is it that I haven't been danging chocolate in front of her this entire time? What a fool I am. And I gotta tell ya, it's hard to keep one of those I'm serious looks when your kid is in trouble if they are 2 years old and telling you that what you've said to them is a "great idea!"

Unwritten

Read the post below and you'll understand more of why I absolutely love this song that's on my video to the side. I need to listen to it every morning to get pumped and ready for the day ahead.


Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Is It Just Because I'm 30?

Since I turned 30 6 months ago (in kid language, I guess that makes me 30 and a half!) I've really been thinking a lot about my life - all the areas of my life. I don't know if it was just that particular number that hit me or what, but I came to a new realization that I don't have all the time in the world anymore, not that I ever did. Time is precious. People are precious. And I don't have forever to enjoy them.

I joined a gym in May and have been pretty faithful in attending since then. I am more conscious about my health now than I ever have been. Not just in how I look, but in how healthy I am. I don't want to ever get to a point where my continual excuse for not doing something with my family becomes, "I'm too tired". I want to WANT to go and do as I get older. I like to be on the go now and want to be able to continue that. Oh, I'm a homebody to an extent, but I love being on the go and doing different things, too. I like to travel to different places. I like to experience new things. I like to play in the floor with my daughter. I like to ride roller coasters. I still sometimes like to climb trees. I just don't want to get to a point where my excuse for not doing those things is that I'm too tired or because my lack of activity now has made me physically unable. That would be a disservice to my children and grandchildren.

I also want to pay more attention to the cleanliness of my home. Not that I'm there yet, but I want to be organized, uncluttered, and "together" where my house is concerned. I'm still working on getting going on that one. I am working on not being such a pack rat. Oh, I'm not extreme by any means, but there are things that I hang on to that I think I might use sometime or feel obligated to keep it because someone gave it to me. Doing this FlyLady thing has helped a bunch just to keep on a schedule and know that I don't have to do a major all day clean and bust my behind if I can just do a little at a time here and there all the time, things will actually take care of themselves. Like I said, I'm by no means there yet.

I also want to be a better planner. I want to make sure my family has everything they need when they need it. Like having toilet paper at all times and not running out. Or paper towels. Or clean underwear. Or ironed pants for work. Or enough in the pantry that I can make a meal on the fly or add to whatever I'm making to accommodate a couple of Tanner's buddies who are staying for dinner.

I also want to be more of a prayer warrior. I want to be that person that when those people I know need someone to pray for them, they can ask me and KNOW that I'll be praying. Oh, I do ok now, but I can always do better. I can always pray more. I want to have that closeness with the Lord where it's like a constant communication. I'd love to have more discernment and to be able to know what to say and if/when to say anything if someone needs something.

I want to be a better wife. There have been some issues happen recently that have caused me to take a more in depth look at how a behave as a wife. Do I exemplify what the Bible says a wife should be? I want it not to matter what my husband does in his role (he does great, by the way!), but as much as it's up to me, I want to make ours the best marriage it can be. I want to meet the needs of my husband and be as unselfish as my selfish self can be. I don't want to focus at all on "what's he doing for me", but how can I serve and please my husband. Not because I feel like I'm in a lesser role or that I have to do those things, but because I want to make him happy because I love him, I'm committed to him, and he's my partner for life. And I know that as I do things to make him happy, he's more likely to return the favor, per say. I want to make ours a peaceful home that he can come to at the end of the day and know that his wife is here to welcome him and love him and for him to know he won't be met with tension. I want to make it so that he would not wish to go anywhere else but home to his family because that's the place he loves to be the most.

I've lived 30 years so far and don't feel like I've even come close to mastering any of these things. But I realize now that 30 years are behind me and only God knows how many are in front of me. So, for as long as I have left, I want to be the best I can be, every day, in everything I can do. I guess that means I should get up from my computer and go clean my bathroom. Crud. Not literally, but........ well, you know.

Kansas Visit

We just returned from a fun weekend in Kansas with Mike's side of the family. We always enjoy our visits with them and are always sad to leave. It was good to get back home and relax tonight, though. Tomorrow starts WAY too early with Body Pump.... I'm already in much prayer for my muscles since I've been off for several days.

Here are a couple pictures from the weekend.

On Friday while Daddy and Grandpa and two Uncles were out golfing, Nana and I went to take the munchkins to Deanna Rose. It's a great little place to take kids to get up close and personal with lots of animals. They all loved it and I'm sure we'll be making a trip again soon.


Rachel needed to be three years old to ride this fine fella and you'd have thought her heart was broken in a million pieces when I told her she couldn't ride the pony. So the nice girls there let her come over and pet the pony. That satisfied her for a few minutes, but once she realized petting was as good as it was going to get, the tears came in full force. Like to have broken my heart, too!!


And this was our vain attempt at a good family picture. Rachel had a dolphin in her hand and thought that was MUCH more interesting than looking at Grandpa holding the camera. Oh well. Good thought, though, Grandpa! We'll try again another time.

And we've made it back home to Arkansas tonight and will be retiring early. Tomorrow is back to the grindstone. But thanks for a GREAT weekend Grandpa and Nana and all the gang! We love you guys and can't wait to see you again in a few weeks!!

My Heart Is Heavy

Do you ever have something going on in your circle of the world that makes everything else that's going on seem trivial? Right now, a dear friend of mine is hurting and I'm so burdened that I'm just nauseous and even if I didn't intend to be fasting and praying about this, God has so made it that food is not even desirous and I can't do anything but think and pray for this friend. I have to confess that I haven't done more than the obligatory prayers each day for a while now. I've gotten into a rut, so to speak. But this past week, I have really been convicted that I need to interceed. I need to pray those prayers that others can't even pray for themselves until they are able. I confess also that even when I've had something on my mind that I feel like I "should" pray for, my mind wanders into ways that I can fix whatever the situation is. This time, my mind can't even wander because God is drawing me back to pray.

I have to confess also that I hate conflict. I hate any kind of conflict. I want everyone to get along all of the time and for everyone to be happy. That may be one of the reasons my husband gets to irritated at me when I say "I don't care, where do you want to go" when we try to find a place to eat dinner. I like all kinds of food and I'd rather everyone else go someplace they'd enjoy because I'm sure to like whatever place we pick. I just want everyone else to be happy. And when someone I care about is hurting or something is not right or there's conflict, I'm torn on how to deal with it. Part of me wants to fix it - in whatever way necessary. Another part of me just wants to hide my head in the sand and pretend nothing out of the ordinary is going on. Today, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure what God wants me to do. So until I get a clear answer on whether or not I SHOULD do anything, I'm going to pray. I'm going to pray like I've never prayed before. If you are so inclined, whoever, you are, please pray with me and for me.