Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Great Idea!

My dear, sweet, "innocent" daughter has got the potty thing down when it comes to going pee-pee. Number 2, on the other hand, has not happened quite as nicely as I would have hoped. She has YET to poop in the potty other than on those rare occasions before we officially began the potty training. Now, she just goes into this still stance and craps her pants and then comes to tell me she's done so. She knows this is bad. She gets a swat on her booty every time she does it. That however is not helping AT ALL. So today, after she yet again made a big mess in her "drawers", we had a little conversation in the bathroom. It went something like this:

"You do not poop in your panties! You poop in the potty!!" said Mommy.

sniff, sniff, blow out snot from the nose - said Rachel.

"Should you poop in your panties, Rachel?"

she shakes her head no.

"Should you poop in the potty?"

again, she shakes her head no.

"No, Rachel, you SHOULD poop in the potty. Pooping in your panties is YUCKY and Mommy doesn't like to clean up that gross mess. I'll tell you what, if you poop in your panties, you will get a spanking every time. But, if you poop in the potty, Mommy will give you some chocolate."

**Rachel opens her eyes as wide as she can and puts both her hands over her open mouth and squeals and then says, index finger pointed in the air, "Great idea, Mommy!!" and then grins super big.

I reiterated the point telling her the consequences for going poop in her panties and then said again that if she poops in the potty she'll get chocolate - half thinking the first reaction was a fluke and that she really didn't get it. I was wrong.

Again, she opens her eyes and mouth widely, places both hands over her mouth and then says again, with a bit more passion this time, "Great idea!!" and then gives me a huge hug.

Why is it that I haven't been danging chocolate in front of her this entire time? What a fool I am. And I gotta tell ya, it's hard to keep one of those I'm serious looks when your kid is in trouble if they are 2 years old and telling you that what you've said to them is a "great idea!"

Wednesday, June 21, 2006


Read the post below and you'll understand more of why I absolutely love this song that's on my video to the side. I need to listen to it every morning to get pumped and ready for the day ahead.

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Is It Just Because I'm 30?

Since I turned 30 6 months ago (in kid language, I guess that makes me 30 and a half!) I've really been thinking a lot about my life - all the areas of my life. I don't know if it was just that particular number that hit me or what, but I came to a new realization that I don't have all the time in the world anymore, not that I ever did. Time is precious. People are precious. And I don't have forever to enjoy them.

I joined a gym in May and have been pretty faithful in attending since then. I am more conscious about my health now than I ever have been. Not just in how I look, but in how healthy I am. I don't want to ever get to a point where my continual excuse for not doing something with my family becomes, "I'm too tired". I want to WANT to go and do as I get older. I like to be on the go now and want to be able to continue that. Oh, I'm a homebody to an extent, but I love being on the go and doing different things, too. I like to travel to different places. I like to experience new things. I like to play in the floor with my daughter. I like to ride roller coasters. I still sometimes like to climb trees. I just don't want to get to a point where my excuse for not doing those things is that I'm too tired or because my lack of activity now has made me physically unable. That would be a disservice to my children and grandchildren.

I also want to pay more attention to the cleanliness of my home. Not that I'm there yet, but I want to be organized, uncluttered, and "together" where my house is concerned. I'm still working on getting going on that one. I am working on not being such a pack rat. Oh, I'm not extreme by any means, but there are things that I hang on to that I think I might use sometime or feel obligated to keep it because someone gave it to me. Doing this FlyLady thing has helped a bunch just to keep on a schedule and know that I don't have to do a major all day clean and bust my behind if I can just do a little at a time here and there all the time, things will actually take care of themselves. Like I said, I'm by no means there yet.

I also want to be a better planner. I want to make sure my family has everything they need when they need it. Like having toilet paper at all times and not running out. Or paper towels. Or clean underwear. Or ironed pants for work. Or enough in the pantry that I can make a meal on the fly or add to whatever I'm making to accommodate a couple of Tanner's buddies who are staying for dinner.

I also want to be more of a prayer warrior. I want to be that person that when those people I know need someone to pray for them, they can ask me and KNOW that I'll be praying. Oh, I do ok now, but I can always do better. I can always pray more. I want to have that closeness with the Lord where it's like a constant communication. I'd love to have more discernment and to be able to know what to say and if/when to say anything if someone needs something.

I want to be a better wife. There have been some issues happen recently that have caused me to take a more in depth look at how a behave as a wife. Do I exemplify what the Bible says a wife should be? I want it not to matter what my husband does in his role (he does great, by the way!), but as much as it's up to me, I want to make ours the best marriage it can be. I want to meet the needs of my husband and be as unselfish as my selfish self can be. I don't want to focus at all on "what's he doing for me", but how can I serve and please my husband. Not because I feel like I'm in a lesser role or that I have to do those things, but because I want to make him happy because I love him, I'm committed to him, and he's my partner for life. And I know that as I do things to make him happy, he's more likely to return the favor, per say. I want to make ours a peaceful home that he can come to at the end of the day and know that his wife is here to welcome him and love him and for him to know he won't be met with tension. I want to make it so that he would not wish to go anywhere else but home to his family because that's the place he loves to be the most.

I've lived 30 years so far and don't feel like I've even come close to mastering any of these things. But I realize now that 30 years are behind me and only God knows how many are in front of me. So, for as long as I have left, I want to be the best I can be, every day, in everything I can do. I guess that means I should get up from my computer and go clean my bathroom. Crud. Not literally, but........ well, you know.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Kansas Visit

We just returned from a fun weekend in Kansas with Mike's side of the family. We always enjoy our visits with them and are always sad to leave. It was good to get back home and relax tonight, though. Tomorrow starts WAY too early with Body Pump.... I'm already in much prayer for my muscles since I've been off for several days.

Here are a couple pictures from the weekend.

On Friday while Daddy and Grandpa and two Uncles were out golfing, Nana and I went to take the munchkins to Deanna Rose. It's a great little place to take kids to get up close and personal with lots of animals. They all loved it and I'm sure we'll be making a trip again soon.

Rachel needed to be three years old to ride this fine fella and you'd have thought her heart was broken in a million pieces when I told her she couldn't ride the pony. So the nice girls there let her come over and pet the pony. That satisfied her for a few minutes, but once she realized petting was as good as it was going to get, the tears came in full force. Like to have broken my heart, too!!

And this was our vain attempt at a good family picture. Rachel had a dolphin in her hand and thought that was MUCH more interesting than looking at Grandpa holding the camera. Oh well. Good thought, though, Grandpa! We'll try again another time.

And we've made it back home to Arkansas tonight and will be retiring early. Tomorrow is back to the grindstone. But thanks for a GREAT weekend Grandpa and Nana and all the gang! We love you guys and can't wait to see you again in a few weeks!!

Monday, June 12, 2006

My Heart Is Heavy

Do you ever have something going on in your circle of the world that makes everything else that's going on seem trivial? Right now, a dear friend of mine is hurting and I'm so burdened that I'm just nauseous and even if I didn't intend to be fasting and praying about this, God has so made it that food is not even desirous and I can't do anything but think and pray for this friend. I have to confess that I haven't done more than the obligatory prayers each day for a while now. I've gotten into a rut, so to speak. But this past week, I have really been convicted that I need to interceed. I need to pray those prayers that others can't even pray for themselves until they are able. I confess also that even when I've had something on my mind that I feel like I "should" pray for, my mind wanders into ways that I can fix whatever the situation is. This time, my mind can't even wander because God is drawing me back to pray.

I have to confess also that I hate conflict. I hate any kind of conflict. I want everyone to get along all of the time and for everyone to be happy. That may be one of the reasons my husband gets to irritated at me when I say "I don't care, where do you want to go" when we try to find a place to eat dinner. I like all kinds of food and I'd rather everyone else go someplace they'd enjoy because I'm sure to like whatever place we pick. I just want everyone else to be happy. And when someone I care about is hurting or something is not right or there's conflict, I'm torn on how to deal with it. Part of me wants to fix it - in whatever way necessary. Another part of me just wants to hide my head in the sand and pretend nothing out of the ordinary is going on. Today, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure what God wants me to do. So until I get a clear answer on whether or not I SHOULD do anything, I'm going to pray. I'm going to pray like I've never prayed before. If you are so inclined, whoever, you are, please pray with me and for me.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Mr. Sexiest Man Is Single Again!!!!

I just read that Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughey have parted ways. Why does this make me happy? I never really thought these two were a good match anyway, so that's one reason. Another reason is it's just nice to know he's available. Not that in a million years it would mean anything to me personally, but still. If there ever was a celebrity that I drooled over, this man is the one. Lord have mercy. .....................yeah, I'm still sighing............... gosh.

Another note - do you ever dream about people from previous relationships? Last night I had a dream about a great friend of mine that was one of those male friendships that seemed like we should be together as a couple, but we could never get there at the same time, you know? He was my best friend for a while and we would spend hours on the phone and most of our free time together. He was one of those guys that my parents didn't have to worry about one bit. He was attractive to me, but in a friend sort of way. Anyway, I dreamed about him last night. We were in a store somewhere and we saw each other across the way. I've gotta tell ya, he looked like the biggest redneck white trash ever! He had a shaggy, long hair cut that just looked terrible. He had gained a bunch of weight and was somewhat waddling over to see me. It was totally not what I would ever expect in reality, but I thought it was just kinda funny. I remember thinking in my dream, "boy, did I ever marry the right guy!!" It's nice to have those thoughts in your dreams. Dreams are a place where anything can happen, but it's just nice that my subconscious agreed with my consciousness.

Friday, June 02, 2006

A Little Disappointment

I'm a little disappointed today. My husband called yesterday and said, "pray for me about 3:00 today because I'm going to be meeting with {complex manager}". He had a feeling it would be a conversation, or rather a turn down, on the big job he applied for. He was correct. After going through a 3 month interviewing process and being one of the final 2 candidates, he was passed over for this job. He was beginning to think in the past couple weeks that it would be the other guy that was chosen, but it was confirmed yesterday.

On the surface and in my mind logically, it really doesn't make sense why he didn't get it. They announced the final 2 guys about 2 months ago and he's been under scrutiny, so to speak, for the past couple months. He's had some super feedback from the complex manager as well as MANY other people in the company. He's had tons of employees at the plant say things like, "Hey Boss Man" or "I guess we should start calling you Sir now, huh?" or things of that nature for a while now and he always would try and dismiss them saying that nothing was decided yet, but in everyone's mind, it was all but decided and the announcement was just a formality. The other candidate is from Indiana and will be starting Monday, so it's obvious he's known for a while, which is another thorn because they waited until basically the last minute to inform Husband.

The reason he was given that the other guy was chosen over him was that this guy has more technical skills where the machines and equipment are concerned. Husband was told that his people skills far outweighed this other guy, but the other dude was chosen based on his technical knowledge. I really don't want to be ugly about this, but hello people!!!! Technical skills are a LEARNED thing and I think if my husband can get a masters degree with nearly straight A's the entire time of grad school and all the while still excelling at his job, he can learn how the dang machines run!! I don't think people skills can be learned in quite the same way. Plus the other guy doesn't know the people in this plant and have the rapport with them like my husband does. AND the other guy has to be moved clear from Indi-freakin-ana!!

So, see, on the surface, it just doesn't make sense. The thing that just kinda tugged at my heart yesterday was when Husband told me with a disappointed look on his face, "I just really felt like this is what I was supposed to do." Maybe the job isn't what he was supposed to do, but more the process. Kinda like what our pastor has been saying in recent days about his nomination for the SBC thing, he's just being obedient to the fact that he knows God has called him to accept the nomination and if the position comes from that, fine. But at least he's being obedient to God's call of the journey. That's kinda the way I have to look at it in Husband's case. It's disappointing that he didn't get this because seemingly, this would have been a perfect move for him. However, God has to have something better and more suited for him just around the corner. There's a reason and I know that. It's just always difficult to have your pride hurt a bit and to see your husband be disappointed.