I'm not quite sure how I feel today. I was reading the Sunday paper yesterday afternoon and for whatever strange reason I do it, I was glancing through the obituaries. I usually see if there are any names I recognize and always look to see how old everyone is. I often wonder what their lives were like or what their families are going through. I never really expect to see anyone I know, so I was shocked to see a name I recognized in yesterday's obituaries. This wasn't some older person who had come to the end of a great life, but rather a guy I used to date who was about a year older than me. I met him soon after I moved to my little town and we "dated" on and off for about 4 years or so. He was one of those guys who I knew down deep really wasn't that "in to me" and vice versa, but it was just someone that was there, ya know. I cared about him, but was no where near in love with him. The last conversation I remember having with him was about 5 years ago when he called one day while I was shopping and I mentioned something about having my step-daughter with me. It had been a while before that since we'd talked and he was surprised things with my husband and I had progressed so quickly as to the point of marriage. I didn't talk to him after that. I've seen his dad on occasion and we've exchanged the "tell him/her hi" stuff, but nothing really ever significant. Then yesterday I found out that he passed away. It was a very nauseating feeling. I couldn't help but think that if my husband hadn't come into my life when he did and pursued me the way he did, and then thank God, proposed to me, where might my life have gone? What if something more significant had ever happened with me and this guy? What if my husband hadn't been here or had given up on me? Would I have ended up with this guy? Would I be a widow right now? Would I have ended up with someone else? It just all has made me think how differently my life might have turned out and how unbelievable thankful I am for my husband, my daughter, my step-daughter, my family, friends, church, everything.
When something like this happens, it usually causes me to reevaluate my life and the things that are important. It makes me want to hug my husband a little tighter and a little longer. It makes me want to never let Rachel go. It makes me want to contact every friend I have just to tell them I love them. You just never know when the next tomorrow might be the last tomorrow for you or someone you care about. So hold close those you love today. Hug tighter. Love deeper.