Another Day, Another Class

We have another training class today.  Thursday night was about visitations that foster kids have with birth parents.  I've got to be honest and say that the idea of that does not thrill me in the least.  I could write a whole post just about that notion.  But I lack the time today.  Because...

We have another six hours worth of training to sit through today.  The first session is on discipline.  I've heard a little bit about what we can and cannot do, so I'm interested to see what they say today.  The second session will be on adoption, which I'm a little more pumped about.  There will be an adoption specialist there, so I'm sure we'll have plenty of questions for her.  That's the part that I'm really looking forward to today.

Oh, and I'm also looking forward to getting some lunch 'to go' and having a picnic of sorts with my hubby on the Fayetteville Square!  That will be my favorite part of the day, I'm sure.  I hope the weather holds out and is as nice today as it was yesterday.  I'm so ready for spring, it's ridiculous.

Lastly, I'm SOOOO excited for my friends The Maners!!  They passed court in Ethiopia and will be leaving to go get their son on March 27th... FINALLY!!!  Woohoo!!  Congrats Robyn and Ryan!  You know we're overjoyed for you right now and can't wait until you get home with that precious boy!

Training Classes

So, we’ve been going to “parenting classes” as my husband likes to call them. :)  Actually, in order to foster/adopt through DCFS, a couple must attend 27 hours worth of training as part of the preliminary process.  We just finished session 4 of 9  last night.  All the other stuff was basically review of info that we already had or things that we just knew.  Last night was brutal.  It was about loss.  Our instructor, Laura – who I really like – went over the various stages of loss and grief and we talked about what some of the kids that come into our home might feel.  I have an idea of what we’ll be dealing with, but I’ll freely admit, I don’t fully get it.  It’s hard to imagine where these kids come from because I have NEVER been in any kind of situations like these kids come from.  It will just tear your heart right out!

One of the first things she did was she had all of us get three sticky notes and on one we wrote a person we loved.  On another, we wrote our most prized possession.  On the third, we wrote an aspect of our health that we were thankful for.  At first, I thought it was a little silly, but being the rule follower that I am, I did exactly as she said.  Then, she came around to each one of us and began pulling a post-it from the table in front of us.  She took one person’s loved one post-it.  Another one she took was their prized possession.  And so on.  She then asked how that made us feel that she just came and took our stuff.  Of course they were just post-its but still.  Then she came around for the second round and some people had both their other post-its taken and some people just had one.  Some people didn’t have any.  She asked if that was fair.  Was everyone treated the same?  Did everyone end up with the same stuff?  And THEN, she came around and gave us a post-it back, but it was someone else’s post-it.  Not ours.

Some of these kids going into foster care have everything taken away from them in one fell swoop.  They are taken away from their loved ones.  Even if mom and dad have treated them like absolute crap, they are still THEIR mom and dad and the kids still love them.  They may have been taken with just the clothes on their back.  They may have had to leave their favorite stuffed animal or their pet – their most prized possession.  Laura reminded us that as she gave us the sticky notes back, we might have gotten a pet or someone’s PS3 or a loved one….but it wasn’t OUR stuff.  Put yourself in the place of these kids.  They might be coming into our home and having a ton more stuff than what they had back at mom and dad’s, but it’s our stuff – not THEIRS.  It’s not what makes them comfortable.  WE are not mom and dad to them.  We can love them with all that’s in us, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to experience the stages of grief over the loss of what they have left.

Then.  Oh then.  At the end of class, she played a video for us.  All it was was words scrolling across the screen and occasionally we would hear a kid reading these words.  It was taken from a psychiatrists observations from things kids have said and things he’s witnessed kids experience.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I was literally crying.  It was so heartbreaking.  I mean, I had an idea, but some of the things shocked me.  And most of it is bringing me to my knees.  It makes my heart break.  It makes Mike really angry.  HOW can parents treat kids this way?!  HOW?!?!  How can ANYONE treat a kid that way?!

We found out last night that the newest statistic shows that the number one reason a child in NWA is taken out of his/her home and put into foster care is neglect. NEGLECT!!  I would have guessed drugs in a minute.  But no.  It’s neglect.  Drugs was second, but still.  Overpowered by neglect.  I could just shake some people for that.

And to make matters even worse, I watched a DVR’d episode of Oprah today about child molesters.  I hesitated for weeks about watching it, but especially last night after some of the stuff we heard, I knew I needed to watch it.  I was crying by the end of it.  Because there are kids even around here having to deal with stuff like that.  It makes me SICK!!  I’m nearly to tears even now as I write this.  One of the guys on there put it perfectly when he said by what he was doing, he was killing who that little girl could have been.  I just want to bury my head and pretend that stuff doesn’t happen, but I can’t anymore.  And it breaks my heart for those kids.

I just know, more than ever, we have GOT to help some of these kids.  Mike and I are so passionate about this.  Whatever kind of abuse these kids have come from, we may not be totally equipped, but we have willing arms to hold these babies that need someone to love them.  And open hearts, which may be the most important thing of all.

Heart to Heart Luncheon

Our Bible study group had a luncheon scheduled for yesterday called the Heart To Heart Luncheon.  We were to decide, as our individual groups, what we wanted to do for lunch.  At first, I thought maybe a potluck at my house since I’m close to the church, or maybe we could go out somewhere.  Well, Miss Diane spoke up and invited us to her home for lunch.  I was instantly excited!

My group is several girls that are close to my age and mostly girls in my season of life – we have young children.  Diane is my mom’s age.  And a southern belle if ever I saw one!  Diane prays before each Bible study term begins to see which group God is calling her to be in and for this term, she chose our group…and what a BLESSING!  I didn’t know really who she was before that first Tuesday meeting, but after about a minute and a half, I knew I would come to love this lady!  And boy, have I!!  Imagine a softer version of Paula Deen that just loves Jesus to pieces, and there you have Diane.  Contagious, people!  Seriously. Love her to pieces.

So when Diane said she would like to have us over to her house for lunch, I was excited.  Then she started talking about what she would serve.  Y’all, I just nearly fell out right there at that table when she was talking.  Now, mind you, it wasn’t anything over the top fancy, but just the way she was describing everything gave me major warm fuzzies.  Diane is a hostess extraordinaire! I’ve seen her pictures on facebook, so I knew it was going to be fun and special!  I didn’t realize just how special until we got there.

I knew what neighborhood Diane lived in, so I figured we were going to a nice house.  Yeah.  That’s the understatement of the century.  Her front porch alone was decorated way cuter than my whole house!  Diane of course greeted us at the door and was so excited we were there.  She took us on a tour of her house, and let me just go ahead and say, I could have looked around in there for another 2 hours at all the detail she has put into her home.  One of my favorite things was when she was showing us pictures in her grandson’s room of her husband and father.  There were only 4 or 5 pictures, but each one was very special and had a story behind it.  THAT is my favorite.  I love pictures with special meaning like that and I love to know the history behind the picture.  We all loved looking around and as we came down her staircase, she had us all stop for a picture.  Aren’t we cute?! :)

We came downstairs and Diane showed us to the table, which she had set so beautifully. She had special places for each of us with little heart gifts at each place setting!  Oh my word!!  How precious!  We had goblets for our tea or water, gold silverware that was just gorgeous, round pink placemats, and our plates were already filled with fabulous food!  Let me tell you what was on our plate: chicken salad on a lettuce leaf (precious…and DELICIOUS!!), mini raisin bread sandwiches with a cream cheese filling, a fruit and marshmallow salad with pecans, and chocolate covered strawberries.  Was that not a little tea room menu right there?!  Heaven, I tell you!  H.E.A.V.E.N.  Our dessert was a cake that Aimee made with her daughters that Diane served on these tiny little plates that were just absolutely adorable!!  LOVED THAT!!  We also had a little tray at the top of our plate with three small pastel colored mint candies.  Oh my word.  I mean, really.  Could you get any sweeter?!  It’s like that trip to Brighton I had at Christmas where they wrapped up my small little purchase like it was a glorious special treasure and how special I felt at that store.  That’s the way it was at Diane’s house.  I felt SOOO special!!  I still get goose bumps thinking of it!

The most special part of the whole thing, though, was the sweet conversation we all had.  We had two ladies from our group that couldn’t join us and there was another group that only had two ladies in it that day, so Diane invited them to come and fill the spaces we would have.  It was such a sweet time of conversation and it made me want to get to know those ladies even more!  I just love visiting with godly ladies and enjoying times of sweet fellowship.

Overall, it was one of the coolest lunches I’ve ever attended.  I am still not over how special I felt.  And let me just state that I didn’t feel special because all of the “stuff”, or how nice Diane’s house is, or because of the food, or any of that.  It was because of the time that Diane took to make things special, and her attitude about it.  It was just so very thoughtful.  And the thoughtfulness is what makes all the difference in the world, gold silverware or plastic.  If it’s thoughtful, it’s special!! 

And Diane, if you’re reading this, I love you, my sweet Southern Belle!!  Thank you soooooo much for having us over, for treating us like royalty, and for being such a genuine godly example to all of us!  I thank God daily that He directed you to our group.  What a BLESSING!!!

Today's Goals

We have another snow day here in NWA.  Lovely.  I'm not sure how I'm feeling about these.  I am one that likes to go-and-do.  But I also enjoy a good day at home.  So today, I'm a bit torn.  There's nothing I can do to change the fact that the schools are out today (and will likely be tomorrow as well), so I'm going to make the most of my day at home.

Tomorrow is Rachel's 6th birthday and Saturday is her party.  There is a massive amount of cleaning that needs to be done at this house before we have company this weekend.  So today, I will be beginning that process.  My goals today are as follows:

• Wash every article of clothing in this house save those on our bodies.  I'm so over laundry.  I feel like it's all I do sometimes.  But when you have 5 people who wear clothes, what's a mother to do?
• Put up the party decorations.  Since Rachel's birthday is tomorrow, we might as well go ahead and celebrate, right?!
• Clean most of, if not all of, my house.  I know there are some touch up things that will have to be done last minute, but if I can get the majority done today, that will relieve some of my stress.
• Clip and organize my coupons from the past couple of weeks and plan out a menu for next week.  I've got my menu done for the rest of this week and it's such a stress reliever to be able to look at my list and know what I'm cooking tonight and not have to wonder or worry.  I want to be able to plan a menu for a month and just get groceries each week, or every other week, for the month.  We'll see if that actually comes to pass...
• Read for at least 1 hour.  There is a book that I've been trying to read for about the past 2 weeks that I just can't get through.  That's one thing that frustrates the daylights out of me about myself is my lack of speed in reading.  I love to read, but I can't seem to read very fast.  If anyone has any speed-reading tips they'd like to share, I'm all for it.  There are so many books on my list of ones that I'd like to read, but at the rate I'm going, I'll be 80 before I can get to all of them.

Now, if I can get all of that stuff done before Hollywood Week on American Idol tonight at 7pm on FOX... (I'm just a teensy bit excited about that), then I will feel like I've accomplished something for the day.  I've got my first load of laundry folded on my bed ready to be put away and the next load is almost ready to come out of the dryer.  One load at a time.  Wonder how many I'll have today?  My guess is about 7.  Of course, there could be more...

One last blessing of the day - my sweet Copper is finally finished being in heat.  Lord help us all, that was the worst timing of all the world for her to have been in heat for the past couple of weeks!  She and Kramer are now allowed to be in the same area with each other without fear of...well....you know.  There was one time about a week ago when Rachel let them outside together without thinking.  I didn't see anything, but I suspect they....well....you know.  I'm praying that they didn't really....well...you know.... and even if they did that nothing 'took' and we won't have puppies in about 55 more days.  And if we do, I guess it's God's way of telling us we needed an extra couple hundred dollars. :)

Postponed

Our first foster parent training class was scheduled for tonight, but they called this afternoon and cancelled it due to weather scares.  I think it would have been fine, but I'm not the one in charge.  I was going to have to go by myself since Mike is out of town and he would have had to make up the first night of class later, so actually I guess it turned out to be a good thing.  We'll start next Thursday and just go a week later, I suppose. Instead of class tonight, I got to fix my kids dinner, eat my leftover lunch from Mama Tang's (holy cow, that was good stuff!!!), will give the kiddos a bath, put them to bed myself, and then cuddle up under a blanket to enjoy some Grey's and Private Practice while I'm enjoying some hot chai tea that my lovely Secret Sweetie at work gave me today. I might also have a plan for eating a piece of peanut butter pie with that tea.  Maybe... :)

Blessed

Today has been one of those days where I have just felt so blessed.  I know that EVERY day I am blessed, but some days, don't you just feel it more than others? 

Bible study today was awesome!  One of the other leaders graciously shared with me her guide that she uses for her class and I think I'm going to continue that trend.  We didn't get through everything (what's new), but it was focused, I felt, and very good.  I love, love, love the ladies that are at my table.  I have mad love for them.  We missed a couple girls today and I hate it when we're all not there, but hopefully we can meet all together next week.  Today in the video we watched of Beth Moore, that chick was FIRED UP!!  I just love it!  I mean, the last couple weeks, I have just wanted to jump up and yell "HALLELUJAH!!" a couple of times during the program.  Of course, we are among a bunch of Baptist women and I might get a few crazy looks - but really, who cares?!  It might free one or two of them up to do the same thing! :)

While we're on the topic of jumping up and yelling "HALLELUJAH!!", I literally did that in my kitchen today when I received an oh-so-special email!!  One that I'd been waiting to see for weeks!  I can't wait until I can share more about it, but oh my GOSH!!!  If you could have seen me when I read that email, you would have died laughing at me!  I'm totally not kidding when I say I was jumping up and down in my kitchen and screaming "Thank you JESUS!!!"  I'm really surprised I didn't wake Porter from his nap, I was yelling that loud!  ***UPDATE - THIS JUST IN!! It's not on the DL anymore!!  Go HERE to ready about why I'm so excited!  I'll let their post speak for itself...

That email made me think of a song that the choir did Sunday called, "When I Think About The Lord" and I couldn't get that out of my mind, so I got online and listened to it and had a bit of church by myself at my desk.  The chorus of it says:
"It makes me wanna shout!
Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus!
Lord, you're worthy of all the glory,
and all the honor, and all the praise."
Oh my granny, did I ever have church.  There is just something about songs like that sung by a choir that just take me to the presence of God in a hurry.  Can you even imagine what heaven will be like?!  There are times when I sing that my eyes are closed, I'm thinking about the words to that song, making them my own, and I seriously think if I opened my eyes I would see Jesus sitting right there with me.  Today was like that.  I'm listening to it again as I write this and I'm about to have church again right NOW!!!  Woohoo!!

Then I got a sweet email from my husband.  The Lord is doing an amazing work in his life and I just love watching it!  Things that you get a word from God about may not happen right when you get that word, but to see God work in the mean time and to see HIS perfect timing is just so sweet.

And then I got an email that I get to sing on the praise team again this Sunday.  To say that I love doing that is such an understatement that it just doesn't even come close to doing it justice.  I know that I'm nowhere near as talented as some of the other ladies that sing in our choir, but then I realize it's not about me.  It's not about my talent (or lack of talent).  It's about my obedience to praise.  And by being obedient, God let's me get a little blessing out of it by doing something that I looooove!  And to the powers that be, I say it again, thank you for allowing me that blessing in my week!!

I've also been texting my friend April about some decor for my bedroom.  I just wish I had all the money in the world to let her "go to town" on my room (my whole house for that matter) and decorate it exactly how she would do her house because I love her taste.  But sadly, we don't have a money tree, so I'm limited.  But she was telling me about some cute things that she found at Hobby Lobby today that would look good in my room.  I don't think I can adequately convey how much that just blesses me to death when someone helps me decorate or cleans my house.  I mean, it's beyond joy.  Warm fuzzies to the uttermost.   Last year, I had some friends that I bartered with to come in and do a little 'redesign' in my house.  They didn't buy anything new, really, but just sort of arranged my own stuff for me.  I knew they were at my house one day while I was away and I was a giddy little fool all day because I was so excited someone else was doing something like that for me!  I couldn't wait to get home to see what they'd done!  A couple years ago, Mike asked what I wanted for Mother's Day and I said I wanted to hire someone to clean my house.  I did and a lady came in while I was at work one day and cleaned my house.  Oh. My. Gosh.  That was one of the best days of my life!  It's not that I can't clean my own house or that I even have a messy house, because it's usually pretty clean.  But the fact that someone else was coming in to do something that is SOOOO in my love language just almost was more than I could take - I was so blessed. GIDDY!  There have been a couple times we've had girls come in to babysit for us and when I've gotten home, I've seen the dishes have been washed and put in the dish drainer.  I'm almost getting verklempt just thinking of it!  I mean, am I even coming close to getting my point across of how much that sort of stuff is just so special to me?!  So when April was telling me that while she was out doing HER stuff, she was thinking of MY stuff and what would look good for my room....oh bestill my heart!  It just makes me happy.

So, over all, it has been such a good day of God's blessings.... one right after the other.  I don't know how in the world a wretch like me can deserve His goodness, but I say "Keep the blessings comin', Lord Jesus.  Keep 'em comin'!"

The Pioneer Woman

Why has no one told me about this woman?  Why have I never overheard her name in conversation?  Where has she been all my life?  Will I live long enough to make every single last recipe that's on her website, because they all look to-die-for delish?!  These are questions with no real answers?

I can tell you one thing - I have found a new love! 

http://www.thepioneerwoman.com/

Glory be to God in the Highest!!!!

We got our notification Tuesday that we passed our background check and will be starting our training classes for foster care next Thursday!  We're supposed to get some sort of "invitation" from the training center letting us know when and where and all those important details.  I may be attending this first class by myself, though.  Mike is out of town next week on Thursday, but can make up the class the following week, they say.  I'm really looking forward to getting started on the classes.  It just makes it seem a bit more real.

We've been looking at the possibilities of adopting through foster care from other states as well.  In Arkansas, there aren't many children under the age of 10 even that are ready for adoption from the foster system, but that's not always the case in other states.  Most of the time, when a young child (infant/toddler/etc) goes into foster care, typically their foster parents have the first option of adoption if/when that child is able to be adopted.  Therefore, most of the little kids are adopted by foster parents.  We're interested to see, though, what other states options are.  Some states you have to be a resident for a particular period of time before being able to be a foster parent, so we're trying to figure out what our boundaries are where that's concerned.  We're just praying for wisdom right now in our decision.

I'm loving reading through the Old Testament.  Now, I'm sure my tune will change a bit once I hit Numbers and all that mess with the geneologies and the begats, but for now, I'm enjoying my reading.  My questions have just increased by about a thousand percent, though.  Gina, I'm coming after your OT knowledge sometime soon!!

Speaking of Bible reading, Mike and I had a GREAT, long converstaion with Tanner tonight about the Bible, church, and just God in general.  I love when we have talks like that!  It's SO awesome to see her grow not only physically, but also spiritually and intellectually.  She has such a sweet and tender heart and I just know God is going to use her big time.

And let me just go ahead and say that there is not much more that makes my husband more attractive to me than when he's "into God".  Since the fast, I can tell God has done a MAJOR change in Mike's attitude about several things.  It's just awesome to see how God's working in his life... and how Mike is LETTING God work!  He's just being so...open.  He's been in the Word a ton.  He's switched some podcast listening from sports stuff and general talk radio things to a couple different pastors - that he's begging me to listen to as well.  And we even had a quite lengthy conversation last night about the stuff God was teaching us in our quiet times.  Not that we never talked about that sort of stuff, but it's just different.  There's an excitement there for both of us individually that hasn't been there like this before.  I am going to be in daily prayer that we keep this going and that it only gets better.

On the prayer front, I got a book that I started today called "Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference" by Phillip Yancy.  It was recommended by my friend Jennifer the other day at Bible study after our discussion.  I'm really looking forward to getting into it and reading what he has to say.  That is part of my "quest" to be a Godly woman is to have a more effective and meaningful prayer life.  And girls, if you're reading this, your comments really stuck with me and I appreciate them so much!

There are some matters that I'm in deep prayer about lately.  I'm looking forward to being able to share some of those things at a later time and especially when I see how God answers those prayers.  On a couple things, it seems like the answer is "wait".  I do believe that is my least favorite thing about what God says to me.  I can handle a "no" much better than I can deal with "yes, but you have to wait."  Nope.  Don't like that one at all.  But, God is developing perserverance during our wait, which is a certain testing of MY faith, making us mature and complete, lacking nothing.

An ice store is upon us tonight.  School is cancelled tomorrow.  The kids and I will be chillin at the hizzay!  But Lord Jesus, please oh please, spare our power and keep it going!!

Y'all stay warm and cozy!

So Much To Say, So Little Time

I have much to blog about, but little time in which to get it accomplished.  This afternoon, maybe?  We'll see.

Porter and I are off to a play date today with some friends from MOPS before the Epic Storm '10 hits (so named by my friend Superchikk).  I hope it's not as bad as people are saying.  I do NOT need another storm like we had last year!!!

More updates on my life coming soon.  I know you are on the edge of your chairs... :)

A Good Day

Today has been a good day so far.  Knock on wood.

I was able to have a good time with the Lord this morning before any of my family was out of bed.  I do love some Old Testament, but still, there are questions.  And let me just go ahead and put it out there that Moses is totally a man when he's writing this.... He just skimmed over the whole lot of the stories!  Not NEAR enough details!!  Now, if God had chosen a woman to write it, it would have been about a thousand times longer....which is probably why only men authored the books of the Bible.  Hmmm....  Did I just say that? :)  Although, I must say, I'm not sure about Ruth.  That's a much more chick-flick type book than the other books.  If Ruth was a movie, I'm sure my husband would find an excuse not to go see it because it would be a girl movie.  I'm just sayin'.

I did have to rush a bit before school because I didn't have as much time to get myself ready as I would have liked because Rachel and Porter couldn't wear PJ's to school - that would have just been a teensy bit inappropriate.  Thank God they were having something at school that Rachel would eat - school lunch it is today, baby girl!  Woohoo!!  Thank you, Walker Elementary, for serving spaghetti today!  You saved me from a breakdown!

I got to go to our first session of our Bible study today at church.  We're doing Believing God by Beth Moore.  It is going to be AWESOME!!  All of Beth's studies are just incredible and I know this one is going to follow suit, so I'm excited!  And I have a table full of awesome ladies with me through this journey!  I know God has placed each of them at my table for a reason and I'm anxious to see that played out over the next several weeks.

After Bible study, one of our precious ladies offered to take us all to lunch at Mad Pizza in Rogers.  Um, let me just say - YUM-O and a huge THANK YOU to Diane for allowing us all to enjoy that time together and that yummy pizza!!  For this girl who was headed home to a PB&J and also pinching the life out of every penny these days, that was a blessing!!  And I loved visiting with everyone there.  It was a sweet time of fellowship.

Now I'm sitting here typing away, listening to a bit of music and am about to do a little cleaning while I can get it in during Porter's nap.  We are eating out of our pantry and freezer for the next couple of week and are going to try to go to the store as little as possible, so I've got to get all creative for dinner tonight.  I'm about to do what my friend Jennifer did and make and freeze several meals so that we'll have them for the week.  LOVE THAT! I'm totally going to copy you, girl!

And for those who may not know, I'm a major huge fan of American Idol!  I mean, major huge like I voted for Kris Allen over 300 times for the finale last year.  With my votes and Mike's put together, we voted over 600 times for dear Kris.  And OBVIOUSLY, it paid off - cause who's the American Idol?!  Yep.  Exactly.  So I will be watching tonight.  And we can only hope there is another good laugh or two in there like we got last week with the dude singing something about pants on the ground.  Yeah, if you haven't seen that yet, you must youtube it!!  It will bless you, I promise.

I'm off to get a few things doen before Porter wakes up and Rachel gets home from school.  Gotta make hay while the sun's still shinin'.

Old Testament Confusion

The Old Testament is fun to read, don’t get me wrong.  But it confuses me!  I’m a novel reader.  I love the details in the stories I’m reading.  I love to know the whys of a situation.  And I do not feel I’m getting that while I’m reading in Genesis.  I told someone the other day, it really will take me literally forever to sit down and chat with all these people in heaven trying to figure out what they were thinking or what possessed them to do whatever they did.

I’ll give you some examples of the things that are confusing to me or that I have additions questions about:

• Why in the world did Eve give that apple to Adam?  Seriously.  What was that girl thinking?!
• Why was it not until Adam’s grandson, Enosh, that people began to worship the Lord?  Obviously God had some sort of communication with Adam and Eve and even Cain and Able, but it says that it wasn’t until Enosh’s lifetime that people began to worship the Lord.
• How did people live so long – and was it really THAT long?  Are their years number the same as ours?  And if so, what in the world did they look like at 200, 500, and even 900 years old?  I mean, Seth wasn’t born to Adam until he was 130.  But when did they start counting Adam’s age? 
• Genesis 6:4 REALLY makes me wonder: “In those days, and even afterward, giants lived on the earth, for whenever the sons of God had intercourse with human women, they gave birth to children who became the heroes mentioned in legends of old.” (NLT)  There are so many questions in just that one verse, it’s ridiculous!
• Why did the men think it was ok, as in Abram’s situation with Sarai, to tell the kings or whoever that their wives were their sisters and give them up to the kings’ harems?
• And what in the world was Sarai thinking to give her maidservant to her husband to sleep with?  Why did ANY of the women do that?  I mean, I realize these ladies had a desire for children, but what in the world?
• What about Lot offering his two daughters to these creeps in place of the two complete strangers that he’d just taken in?  Are you kidding me?!  I do not get that AT ALL!  I was looking in my study bible at the commentary for that situation and it says “ Lot’s offering his daughters is explained (though not justified) by the demands of hospitality, which obligated a host to protect his guests at all cost.”  Even if that “all costs” meant giving his daughters to these dudes to do only God knows what to them?  That, in my opinion, is seriously messed up!
• And what’s with Lot’s daughters getting him drunk and sleeping with him to get pregnant?  That’s just gross, my friends.  G-R-O-S-S.  And we think that what some of the kids these days do is crazy.  They’ve got nothing on some of these Old Testament people.  I mean, really.
• What was Isaac thinking when his dad was about to kill him?  I’m sure a thought something like, “That dude has lost his ever lovin’ mind!!!” would have rolled through my head.  And what all happened in that scenario?  Did Isaac put up any kind of fight against Abraham?  Did he willingly get up on the altar?  I get what the whole point was behind it, sort of, but still – I’d like to know more details, especially from Isaac’s point of view.
• The whole deal of Jacob and Esau gets me too.  What is the difference between a blessing and a birthright and what was the big deal with either of them?  Why couldn’t Isaac bless both of them?  Why just one?  I’m sure if I knew Jewish history a bit more, I’d understand.  But I don’t know the history, therefore, I’m still confused. :)
• I totally don’t get the whole deal with Laban giving Leah to Jacob instead of Rachel and then making Jacob work for forever to “earn” Rachel.  And then it seems like those girls just go back and forth having babies and it’s like a competition or something.
• Why was it ok for these men of God to have concubines or to sleep with their wife’s/wives’ maidservants?  Was it always ok for them to sleep with more than one woman? 

And all these questions are just a few I have and Genesis isn’t even over yet.  If any of you Old Testament gurus have an insight to any of these, feel free to put your two cents in.  I’d love to know more about all this stuff.  And I’m sure I will have many more questions as I read on through the OT.  Like I said, I enjoy it – it fascinates me – but it brings up so many questions for me.  Guess that just means I need to study more… Or Google it. :)

God, Change Me

One of my prayers through this time of corporate fasting and prayer has been that God would form me into a godly woman.  I don’t want to be a casual Christian.  I want to be the kind of woman that when people think of me, the first thing they would think is that “she really is a godly woman”.  When I grow up, I want to be like some of these older ladies that I see, ladies like Mike’s granny where it can be said that there is no doubt from anyone that ever knew her or knew of her that she was for SURE going to be in heaven!

The first thing that’s hard for me to grasp in that request is the “woman” part.  There are times that I have to remind myself that I’m 34 years old.  For anyone else, 34 is for sure an adult.  There are other times I have to remind myself that I’m a parent to three children.  For anyone else, having three kids must mean that you’re an adult.  I’ve been married for almost 9 years.  For anyone else, that’s a good amount of time and surely, if you’ve been married that long, you’re an adult.  But most of the time, it’s hard to put it into words… I just don’t feel like I’ve achieved adulthood.  Not that I feel like I’m still a kid or that I’m not mature, but that being an adult or being considered a “woman” is something for people older than me… or younger than me… or just other people than me.  I guess it’s a feeling of inadequacy.  I sometimes don’t feel like I’ve “earned” adulthood yet.  I don’t know what would need to happen in order for me to feel that I had earned it or achieved it.  I guess I feel like I haven’t arrived yet.

The other part is the godly part.  This stems from part of the “woman” part.  I’ve been asked to be one of the leaders of a Bible study at church.  I saw a list of all the group leaders of that study.  My name is on that list.  And I am humbled.  For one thing, I’m the youngest one of the bunch – hence the apprehension on the “woman” part.  Am I old enough to be a leader?  Or a better question is am I mature enough to be a leader?  Then to broach the “godly” aspect of it… what in the world is my name doing on the list with all these awesome, godly women?!  I don’t feel like I’m nearly adequate enough to lead with these ladies.  Satan is wrestling with me on that and causing me to wonder why in the world would any other female want to be in my group when they’ve got all these other ladies to choose from?  I certainly wouldn’t choose me… but then that makes me want to be the kind of woman that I would choose.  If that makes any kind of sense at all.  I would love to be someone that people gravitate toward, not because of who I am, but because of the Christ they see in me.  There are a few people that come to mind when I think of those that I gravitate toward.  There is just something about being around genuinely, godly people.  You come away energized.  That’s the kind of person that I want to be. 

As we start this new Bible study, I have a feeling God is really going to change my life through it.  He’s already changing me through our fast.  There’s more of a yearning for Him than there was before.  There’s more of a hunger for His word.  I want to have a clearer discernment of God’s will in my life.  I want to be so in tune with Him that I can be in a loud, crowded place, but still be able to hear the still, small voice of my Father.

Follow Me?

Are you one of my "followers"?  Do you follow my blog?  If so, I'd love to know!  Leave me a comment or click over to the side where it says "follow".

And can I just say that I don't know when I've ever been this ready for a Monday?!  I'm really looking forward to getting back into the routine of everything.  I feel like I've been dormant for weeks!  When it's summer, it seems like it goes in a flash. This Christmas break, though infinitely shorter than the summer break, seems like it's been two years long!  I'll probably be kicking myself by the time this week's over with and the me at the end of the week will probably want to come back in time and slap the now me in the noggin and say, "What the heck were you thinking?!" :)  But for now, bring on a new week and some routine.

The New Noblitts

Tanner and I went to the wedding of Brad Noblitt and Caitlin Emert today.  That. Was. Precious!  I enjoy going to weddings, but they are really special when it’s a sweet couple like Brad and Caitlin and both of their families.

 

One of my favorite parts of any wedding is watching the groom’s reaction when the bride enters the room.  Today, that was absolutely priceless!  Brad’s reaction was one of the sweetest things ever.  He was giving it his best effort not to cry, but with little success.  He later said when I talked to him that he was just so humbled.  Now that is an awesome thing for a groom to say when he sees his bride for the first time on their wedding day.

 

I loved that my friend Rachel was taking pictures.  She has more talent in her pinky finger than I could ever hope to have.  I told her that with every picture she took, I just kept thinking, I can’t wait to see that one – I can’t wait to see that one – I can’t wait to see that one!  If I could go back and do it again, I’d totally have her take my wedding pictures! :)

 

There were several things that I could count as my favorite parts of the experience:

* Hearing Alana Damron sing.  Got to LOVE hearing that girl.  WOW!

* Seeing Brad’s reaction when Caitlin came in.

* Seeing how proud Caitlin’s daddy looked.

* Getting to see Kim and Suzanne Noblitt again and give each of them hugs. Made me miss them more.

* Seeing both sets of parents join Brad and Caitlin on stage for prayer after they took communion together and lit the unity candle.  That made me teary for sure!

* Watching/Listening to Brad sing to Caitlin. Oh my word.

* Seeing Brad and Caitlin OUTSIDE IN THE FREEZING COLD with Rachel taking their picture right after the ceremony as we were driving to the reception.  Caitlin said she kept thinking “These better be GOOD!!”  Heck yes, they better be good! That girl was in a strapless wedding gown and Rachel was wearing short sleeves?  Crazy people.  They’ll probably be the best pictures of the bunch. :)

* Watching Brad and Suzanne in the mother/son dance while they sang Celine Dion’s “I’m Your Angel” to each other. SO SWEET!

 

Over all, it was a super sweet wedding.  I’m really glad we got to be there to experience that with them.  Congrats, Brad and Caitlin!

Some Thoughts on Adoption

There’s a show on the Discovery Health Channel that I catch every now and then called “Adoption Stories”.  I found one today that was about a family adopting a 4 year old foster child from California.  Watching that made me want to go do a little more hunting on the internet, so off to the computer I went. 

There are some sites that you can go to and view pictures of some kids in the foster system waiting to be adopted.  Do NOT do it unless you are prepared to be broken hearted.  We’ve looked at those sites before and just cried over all those kids who don’t have families.  Mike has said more than once, “We need a bigger house.”  I’m so tender-hearted when it comes to kids that if I could, I would take them all.  If I see or hear of a baby or toddler, especially, that isn’t being cared for or is being mistreated, I just want to snatch them right up and bring them home with me and just love them to pieces.  That’s one reason I haven’t pursued some of the mission trips where you just go and hold babies at an orphanage.  I either wouldn’t be able to leave or I’d want to bring them all home with me.  I don’t know that my heart would be able to handle it.

There’s a particular site I looked at this morning that had a listing by state of all the kids waiting to be adopted… then a listing beside it of all the churches in that state.  Staggering.  The poll was done in 2006 so you have to factor that in, but to give you an example, Arkansas had 937 children waiting to be adopted and 5,843 churches.  In every state except one, there were WAY more churches than children.  WAY MORE.  I feel very convicted over that.  And just the simple fact that there are sooooo many kids in this world that don’t have parents, or don’t have parents that will/can care for them, regardless of what state or country they are from absolutely breaks my heart.

It’s been so amazing to watch several of our friends answer God’s call on their lives to adopt, be in international, domestic, or through foster care.  I’m excited that our journey has started and I can’t wait to see what God will do in our lives and in the life of the child He is preparing for our home.

A Husband's Quotes

So my husband is in Minnesota and he said it's not THAT cold. "You could probably stand outside a good half hour in shorts and a T-Shirt before you fell over dead.  Actually, you probably wouldn't FALL over because you'd be frozen to the ground."

And then there was a bit of silence so I asked him what he was doing, to which he answered, "I was just waiting until the car warmed up so I could touch the steering wheel without getting frost bite."

It's cold people.  REALLY cold.  I've never known it to be this cold in AR and I haven't ever been as far north as MN where the high tomorrow is supposed to be -3 I think he said.  Freakin burr.

Thank God for shelter and for luxuries like a fireplace insert with a blower and a husband who took the time to cut wood several months ago and then stack a bunch of it in our sunroom so I could keep a fire going continually.  I am NOT taking that for granted for sure!  I'm counting my many blessings...

Resolutions

I’m debating on whether or not to say that I actually have New Year’s Resolutions.  I don’t know that they are resolutions, per say, but I do have a few things that I would like to accomplish this year.

 

I would like to read the Bible through in a year.  I have never done that.  I’m sure that at some point or another in my life, I’ve probably read every verse in the Bible, but I want to know for sure.  I want to say that I accomplished that.  I have a One Year Bible that I’ve started on, so we’ll see how it goes.  So far, so good – but we’re only on day 5.

 

I want to read at least 2 books a month.  Now to some (ahem, Michelle), that might seem like child’s play.  But I’m a really slow reader and I might get one book a month read.  I love to read and there are many books that are on my list of must-reads.  So I want to accomplish at least 2 books a month.

 

I want to clear off at least one of my Mary Kay shelves.  I have three two shelves in my laundry room right now that have Mary Kay products on them.  I’m not currently doing parties or facials and therefore don’t have a major need for a ton of product.  I’m currently having a 50%-75% off sale to get rid of some of the stuff that’s been sitting on my shelves for a long time in order to house the stuff that I sell on a regular basis.  If you’re reading this and need some makeup, please let me know!  My credit card company would appreciate any sales I could make! HA!

 

Will we have another snow day tomorrow?  The rest of this week?  It remains to be seen.  It might end up being a full 3 weeks out of school.  I told someone earlier today that I love my kids, but I think I might love them more if I wasn’t with them 24/7.  Mama needs a day…

The Langham Christmas ‘09

It was a fun Christmas at the Langham house this year.  We had Grandma Lynn and Mamaw here with us again this year, which the kids loved (and so did the grandmas).  We had our big dinner Christmas Eve so that we wouldn’t have to cook any on Christmas Day and could just enjoy our toys and our leftovers.  We woke up Christmas morning, as did the rest of NWA, to a white Christmas and it was beautiful!  What a blessing! 

Ok, prepare yourselves – there are a lot of pictures ahead.  I know!  You’re in total shock right now, aren’t you? :)

The bird… “before”…

 

The Christmas Tree

 

The stockings – hung by the chimney with care…

 

 

…and three stinkers that could barely hold it together for one good picture out of about 175 tries.

 

 

See what I mean?!

 

Reading the Christmas story out of Luke 2.  Didn’t Daddy do a good job being all creative in his picture taking? :)

 

Getting Santa’s cookies ready.

 

Rachel leaving the reindeer a little snack of oats.

 

Busting through the paper tapped over the door on Christmas morning – rushing to see what Santa brought.

 

See!!  I got tools!!!

 

One of the many looks Tanner had while saying “OH YEAH!”

 

Rachel was excited about her purple lounge clothes.

 

Porter loved his drum… he plays it a lot.  I’m so excited.

 

Opening his guitar.  The last time he wanted to play an instrument, he got a starter set for the bagpipes.  BAGPIPES, people!!!  I don’t think so…  We’ll see where this takes him.

 

Mike was very excited that he got peanut M&M’s from Granny rather than the lotion he expected was in that bag.  He HATES lotion! :)  Good job, Gran.

 

Over all is was a wonderful Christmas.  We’re all looking forward now to what the new year is going to bring!

Drumroll Please.....

We are officially able to be public with our news.....



WE'VE DECIDED TO ADOPT!!!



Adoption is something that Mike and I have talked about since before we were married. I think it's something we always knew we would do "in the future". Well, friends, the future is now. We have 3 healthy children that we totally adore and yet, our family doesn't feel complete. I knew I wouldn't be birthing any more babies - I'm soooo over that. So, obviously, adoption was a very definite option for us.

Sunday, November 8th, was Orphan Sunday and we had a big program that night at our church centered around Esther's House Orphanage and the Kennedy's trip to Malawi. That morning started off not so great. You know how the devil always tries to get his foot in the door on Sunday mornings? Yeah, he'd pretty much invaded our house that day. We were late for church and I ended up not singing in the choir, which is very unusual. Pastor talked that morning about how there's no clearer picture of the gospel than when adoption takes place. We are 'adopted' into God's family through our acceptance of Jesus, and what a beautiful picture of that when a family adopts a child. Adoption was very much in front of us as several of our friends have adopted and are currently in the process of adoption. I think subconsciously, it was something we knew was getting closer and closer for us, we just hadn't really talked that much about it and certainly hadn't made any decisions yet. Once the invitation was given on that Sunday morning, part of what Pastor called the people to pray for was whether or not it was in God's plan for them to adopt. Mike grabbed my hand and off to the altar we went to pray. It was a special time of us asking forgiveness of each other because of our attitudes that morning, but even through that, we felt God's stirring in us regarding adoption. We came home that afternoon and began to discuss what we felt like God was telling us and then had our Esther's House program that night, which just helped to solidify things even more. That week, we knew for sure that we were supposed to adopt.

But where were we supposed to start?

We pretty much knew international adoption was out of the question, purely for financial reasons. My heart has been tied to Africa since I was there in 1999, so if we were to adopt internationally, it would be from there. However, we really didn't feel like that's the direction we were supposed to go, financially restricted or not. We began looking into all of our options on what we could do. Like I said, several of our friends have gone before us in this process, so we had lots of resources for our questions. We looked at an agency that some friends have used and is a trusted agency. We looked at another local agency that does domestic adoptions. We researched just about everything and talked to just about everyone trying to decipher where we felt like God was leading us. We were blessed that some friends at church put together an Adoption Q&A meeting shortly after our decision to adopt. It was a very helpful resource for us as well. We contacted the AR Department of Human Services and requested some info from them as well. We learned they were having an informational meeting on December 3rd regarding foster care, fostering to adopt, and adoption through the state of AR. We went to that meeting as well. Once we left that meeting, I think both of us were very clear on what we were supposed to do.

We will foster to adopt.

The information we received in that meeting just about brought me to tears. In fact, it did the more I thought about it later. There are so many children, just in Arkansas, waiting for a Forever Family. And the statistics on what happens to these children if they are not adopted - it's devastating. The more we thought about it, the more we were certain to our bones that this is what God was directing us to do.

We are in no way assuming this will be an easy process. We know there will be challenges along the way and that there will be difficult times ahead. But regardless, we will not back down. We know that this is what God has called us to do, this is His will for OUR lives, and where He leads us, He alone will give us the strength to endure what He has purposed for us to do. And we know that in the end, we will have another member of our family, which will be worth it all.

So for now, we are just about finished with all of our initial paperwork and have a visit scheduled with a case worker on New Year's Eve. She will come to our home to "inspect" it and make sure that it's an appropriate place for a child. She will pick up our paperwork and then we will start some training classes. We have to go through about 6 weeks or so of classes and then proceed from there. I'm not sure yet of all the details, but of course, I'll be posting on things as they come up.

Our desire, and what would work in our home at this time, is to have another boy that's under 5 years old. We know that God has the perfect child ready for us. Please begin to pray that whatever child that comes into our lives will feel loved and accepted and that the transition would be smooth.

I will keep you updated on things as they occur. As for now, thanks for reading and for praying.

Most of My December - Cliff Notes Version

It has been entirely too long since my last post. To say we have been busy is a HUGE, I mean MASSIVE, understatement!

Since I last wrote, we traveled to Oklahoma for Mike's granny's funeral. It was a very bitter sweet time, but like one of the ministers said, there is no doubt whatsoever that Granny is in heaven with Jesus. It was nice to see all the family and get to visit with them for a few hours that day.

That same day, I learned that our music minister and his wife, Kim & Suzanne Noblitt, are leaving our church to go to a church in Florida. I cried more when I got that email than I did the whole day of the funeral. I love, love, love our music minister! I can't even think how to put into words how much I love Kim and Suzanne. When someone is as involved in the music ministry as I am, it means a lot to have a minister that you really enjoy, and I truly have enjoyed Kim. He has allowed me to grow as a person and a singer and has been such an encourager to me, and to so many others. I can't imagine someone replacing that position, but I know for a fact, no one will replace HIM. He is one of a kind and I'm beyond blessed to have gotten to know him and Suzanne in the time they've been with us.

Through all of that, we've had lots of rehearsals for our annual Christmas program, "Repeat The Sounding Joy". Even though we knew Kim was leaving, we still had to press on and put on our performances. It was a GREAT program this year and we all really enjoyed it. It was the first time EVER that I've gotten a chance to sing on the praise team during a performance like that. I was nervous about it, but SOOO honored that I'd been asked to do that. I was also able to do a smidge of acting in a video that the awesome Zach Kennedy put together. That boy has more talent in his pinky finger, I swear. He and his team put together a video to the song "A Baby Changes Everything" by Faith Hill and it was amazing. I loved being a part of that as well. In fact, you can click HERE to watch the video on Zach's blog. Rachel was also able to be a part of the program for the first time. She was a marshmallow in the song "Hot Chocolate" from the Polar Express that the kids performed. She was pretty excited about being able to be in the program and then during the first performance, she was a bit upset because she wasn't able to be the "main marshmallow" that got to go up in this gigantic mug of hot chocolate. Oh, my child. She loves to be in the big middle of everything. Wonder where she could possibly have gotten that?

This week, we also had our first ever Kids Day Out Christmas program that I directed and our little kiddos performed for their families. It went SO well!!! I'm so over the top proud of all my kids! We'd been working on Christmas songs since October with all of the classes from the older 2 year olds through the Pre-K class. The oldest class was our cast of biblical characters and everyone else got to wear their Christmas PJ's. It was super cute and all the parents that I talked to were extremely pleased with it and thought their kids were all rock stars, which of course they were!

Last night was our very first "Merry Christmas Springdale" program in which we honored all the city employees of Springdale. We were able to have a dinner for them and then our choir and orchestra performed a few songs, along with some pretty adorable kids. As Kim said, it was a dream come true for him that we were able to get outside the walls of our church, as a choir, and do ministry in the community. It was a really neat night and it seemed like everyone there really enjoyed themselves. Hopefully it'll be a tradition that continues each year.

We're heading over to my dad's tomorrow for our Christmas time with him and my stepmom and then we'll be finished traveling for the holidays. I don't have anything on my calendar for the next couple of weeks and I'm ecstatic about it!! I'm excited about sleeping in (or not setting an alarm), not having to BE anywhere, and just having time to hang with my family. I'm so excited about Christmas and getting to see the reactions of my family when they open their gifts. That's always more fun for me than opening presents for myself. I know I've done a good job when they are excited.

Some exciting news is coming up in the next couple of days, so stay tuned. I promise it won't be that long until I post again.... for those 3 of you that actually read my blog. :)